is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
