Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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