Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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