Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
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