Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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