is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
