I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
