Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
