the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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