what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
