This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
