it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
