Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
