Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
