I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
