brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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