i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
