You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
