And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
