There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
