What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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