I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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