Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
