I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
