Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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