Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
