Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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