I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
