honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
