You just made me feel so damn special
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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