ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
