I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
