So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I am full of burrito and curiosity
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
