I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
