Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
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