There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
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