I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
