You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
