she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
