3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I wish life had little blips of pornography
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
drinking out of a sandbucket again
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
