Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
