dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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