There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
