I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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