my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
