North Korea, Best Korea!
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
