she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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