oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
