some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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