dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
