Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
