considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
