hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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