im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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