i think my tv is drunk
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Randomize
