just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
