WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
