VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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