butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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